I’m not here to preach to the choir. Most of you that read my stuff get it. This is an outlet though, and I’m human… not everything is peachy. This stems from a bit of frustration I have had over the past well.. years, really. However, I had a good conversation with a really good friend today all about how authenticity and being absolutely vulnerable is a superpower that people fear taking ownership of. Not this guy.

I’m one that – I dunno – just feel it’s easier and way more cool being honest. Especially in consideration of the role I am in, typically looked up to as a source of knowledge, wisdom and the answers on how to pull through, be strong and stay positive – I’ll be the first to admit, I’m right there with you on seeking answers. I’m wicked human. I’m often in just as much of a tailspin as the next person. Often finding myself selling off things to make rent, buy groceries and dog food for my dog. Why? Series of poor financial decisions, poor judgement, poor financial education, poor control. I’m a disaster in some areas of my life. However, I’m proud of my mindset. Perspective changes outcomes. I’m an eternal optimist. And I’ll never change that. I will achieve big things.

I don’t confine myself to lanes. I read a quote from George Stroumboulopoulos the other day, check it out… follow this human on twitter and IG @strombo

Dawg2HrVwAAHqYj.jpg A lot of people, some, who feel they’re very close to me, just do not understand that part of my brain. My mind works in a special way, maybe some of you can relate to it. This is how I experience the thought process, my experience so don’t get hung up on the little things. These are just a few ways I live. Deemed successful or not, this is my creative mind and an explanation as to why I operate in the way that I do. Unfortunately, it’s ironic that the people that should read this won’t… but for those of you who do… pass it along. It’s helpful in understanding people that consider themselves artists, creators, musicians, authors or otherwise artsy and dreaming. Often times, these “dreamers” are the once that change the world.

  1. Say yes and then figure it out
    • Yup. This has definitely gotten me in a lot of shit financially speaking. However if I hadn’t taken risks without knowing the full outcome I wouldn’t be where I am today, good or bad. Rich or poor, I’m on a mission to improve the quality of life of the professionals in the music industry.
  2. Try everything at least once (with some exceptions. Don’t do drugs. We are talking experiences… and this flows into the next point)
    • Again, I tend to get distracted with things and find other things to move me further away from the end goal. As a creative, the fear of success is actually a reality. I don’t want to actually finish that song, finish that poem, finish that book… because then what? You know? From a creative’s mindset, the journey is what I really enjoy. Not the final project. That part sucks. That just means I have to face the music. It’s so much easier to just talk about the things I’m up to… you know? However, if you try a bunch of things, sure you’ll take some time… but much alike dating, you figure out what you’re meant to do. I’d rather do what I’m supposed to do in the world than hate my life waking up each day waiting for Friday, the vacation or bedtime.
  3. Do something that scares you!
    • If you’re only doing things that are in your wheelhouse, you’re only limiting yourself. Experience stuff that’ll expand your mind, expand your physical ability, expand your borders. Reach out and positively change some one else’s life.
  4. Absolutely own everything you do, good or bad.
    • You’ll feel empowered when you take control of your life. For example, let’s take your financial situation (believe me, I know… I’m working on turning that ship around). When you look at every situation you find yourself in and saying ” How is this situation completely 100% my fault?” good or bad.
  5. Say what you feel
    • Cut the passive aggressive BS out of your life and be direct. If you expect me to understand you better do a damn good job of explaining said thing. Otherwise, – well… what do they say about assuming things…

 

Thank you for reading. Please share this message. The more understanding and tolerance we give to others, the greater amount of respect between each other we’ll start to see. The funny thing about respect is that with generation gaps and value systems in the modern first world, older populations have a famed affinity with unconditional respect, regardless of whether or not it’s reciprocated. That’s right, respect your elders – even if they treat you like shit. They’re invincible. Well, I’m here to piss a few folks off, because they’re not invincible. They’re human. Just like me. Just like all of us, regardless of age, status, ethnicity, colour, gender, orientation… anything…

Let’s all just listen a little more and this world will fill up with love and respect in no time.

Peace and love, friends.

xoI am trying to hear you, but your actions are deafening

 

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

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Why do we try to be everything to everyone?

As I sit here basking in the nostalgia of Everclear’s “So Much For The Afterglow” – one of the first albums I ever bought on my own, I am finding myself lost in the simpleness of imperfection. I don’t think the social code of modern times really caters towards imperfection. When I say this I really mean folks should be okay with making mistakes. It’s part of our code in how we learn for the better.

One of my heroes in the business and philanthropy world and frankly one of my most favourite human beings – Mr. W Brett Wilson keeps this mantra. In fact his book “Redefining Success: And Still Making Mistakes” takes this theory to the next level. You should read it! I really admire that man for everything he has been through, good and bad and his ability to not expect a certain outcome or result. He is clearly comfortable in his element and therefore has found incredible amounts of success, first in his professional life albeit with the sacrifice of his personal life and heath. Thankfully, he figured it out and has since got everything back on track. Not to spoil the book or anything, I’m just a really big fan of perseverance…. and apparently tangents…

Essentially what I am getting at is that we as humans are meant to make mistakes and be imperfect. It’s a uniqueness that we all have and should embrace. However cliche it may seem, we need to fail in order to find true success. You may have heard it before, but you don’t really know what it is like to win, until you have lost. And that is true heart.

The heart of a champion is one that has seen defeat. Some times repeated defeat. The difference in the heart of a champion is that it knows no rest. It will kick and kick and pump and pump and try again. Backwards or not. Against all odds. The heart will persevere.

How do we apply this positively to our lives now, though? Well in a world so caught up in social standards, I can understand where this becomes puzzling. I too, struggle at times with just being okay with the outcome. There’s so much pressure to climb the corporate ladder. Achieve the greatest amount of success. Provide for yourself and your family. But don’t do it that way! You need to do things this way. In the right order.

You know what? I am running on a theory I’ve had in my entire sports career. The more we build up the pressure to win, the pressure on having a perfect game, making the perfect play, perfecting our routine….. The more we fixate on that perfectly perfect rationale…. the more we lose sight of the actual outcome. We get pigeon-holed and subsequently stuck in the fear of losing and we ultimately choke. Look at any underdog. Why do you think the power of the people back the underdog in most cases? Everyone loves a good underdog story. Heck, I’m one of them! Even my story is one of them! If you’re reading this, you are likely just like me in that regard. But why?

There’s a good chance that the ones without the fear of losing will out perform the favourites. There’s nothing to lose, right? Just go out and have fun. Why doesn’t the same theory apply in all aspects of life?

I think for the sake of being cool with oneself in a given situation, knowledge of the proposed outcome limits our ability to succeed. I say just role with it. We are only in control of how we handle experiences at the end of the day anyways, right? Being okay with imperfection will slowly build character, integrity and a long withstanding respect. Example – I think it says a lot about the professional athlete that bifs as they step out on to the ice and has enough wit and humility to shake it off and understand that they alike the rest of us will make mistakes. Sometimes juvenile and silly mistakes. To me, that just adds to the appeal and is something I stand deeply for in truly understanding myself and being okay with where I am at as me. I want to strive for that. That to me is perpetually learning. That to me is unbound success. No comparisons. No judgement. Just continuing down my path, one step (or stride!) at a time.

Thank you for listening.

You can’t talk your way out of things you behave yourself into.

– Stephen Covey

How applicable.

Continue reading

I maintain a principle while travelling. I like taking vacations as an opportunity to ground myself in self healing, continued education and growth both professionally and personally. This trip includes some professional development in my advanced sports nutrition book, and my self growth includes a book I’ve revisited many times in the past few years. Basically, when I decided the fitness industry, personal training and the management of people was the career track for me. That book is the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven R. Covey.

In reading Covey en route to Maui, I have already taken away countless strategies that I can apply in all aspects of my life. I would like to share some of these strategies in my writings over the next few days. I originally wanted to play scrabble on my ipad, but it apparently wasn’t uploaded from the cloud successfully in YVR. Dang. Guess I just gotta get learned and smart or something. So here goes folks, this is what I took away from a section regarding Private Victories and the art of successful delegation. Do enjoy, and feel free to discuss!

Gofer vs. Stewardship Delegation

Covey writes that we have two basic styles of delegation. Gofer – designate a team member a task, get them to report back when it’s done. Super common among the workplace. But fails to engage the delegated party. From what I got from this, it’s argued that to truly get buy in from your team, you need to find a way, a powerful way, to intrinsically involve those that are part of your cause. You should infect them with a reason to invest in the end result.
That’s another point in itself. Results.
It’s argued that there’s not enough attention towards results, and instead full focus is on the methods on how to do, what to do, what not to do and all the rules in getting there. See the dilemma?
How I understand it is that people do well when empowered. Trust is the highest form of respect. Once you gain respect as a leader you have buy in from your following. Task delegation setup with multiple rules on how to achieve the desired result stems away from the whole point of getting your team behind you, in my opinion. Covey supports this argument fully, citing it’s more beneficial long term to invest time in coaching the delegated task before giving full creative control away to ensure desired results. This allows the delegated party a sense of ownership, a sense of pride and more buy in for the team as a whole. Undoubtedly, more of your following will buy in to this process and your single action effort multiplied productivity tenfold. Pretty effective and efficient, even though it will take more of a time investment in the early stages. Short term inconvenience for long term gains.
That brings me to the final point I would like to make on this section. Efficiency vs. effectiveness. The argument is based around a central theme of scheduling in your priorities instead of prioritizing your schedules activities. I totally agree. You need to know what is important to your whole grand scheme before you can go ahead and decide what you are going to do first, right? That’s efficient. The German blood in me loves this.
I’ve definitely been in this position before – ever had a one on one meeting with a manager or an employee that ran overtime? Maybe you were going out for a coffee with a friend you hadn’t seen for a long time. Strangely enough you were late for whatever you may have scheduled after the HOUR you might have allotted for said friend?
People that operate off of principle cannot work with efficiency when it comes to other individuals. There are emotions. There can be unforeseen circumstances that delay the process. There may be variables that cannot be predicted when dealing with people. When dealing with people, it’s best to utilize effectiveness over efficiency, because we are not objects.
Next time you want to have a good meaningful experience with someone, clear you schedule. Both literally and as far as your expectations go for the outcome. That’s going to be more effective, maybe not efficient. But you can look back and know that that conversation, that meeting or that opportunity to grow was most effective for both sides.
Cool, eh? Just my thoughts. Feel free to discuss.