Describe a situation that you’ve felt you’ve been wronged.

Describe in as much detail as you can why you’ve been wronged. Describe that person.

Did you describe them with any positive words?

How did the situation make you feel? Who was involved? How did it radically change you values? Your opinions of others? Your generalized opinion of the world? How did you have to change your life?

Define the word “forgiveness” without using a dictionary.

Can you forgive whoever did you wrong in the situation? Even if you choose not to forgive right now, what good could come of forgiving that person?

Put yourself in the place of the person that did you wrong. How could their childhood played a role in the incident? How do you think they felt when they did you wrong?

How does it feel to forgive the wrong-doer? And in what ways have you grown?

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It can feel like shit when you don’t get the results you were expecting. It can if you let it.

A loss is black and white though, right? As in, you win or you lose, correct?

I believe the loss on the scoreboard is only part of the picture. How you determine wins and losses is entirely up to you. I can tell you that matter-of-factly.

I’ve been a part of championship teams. I’ve worked with next level athletes and I kid you not, the scoreboard oftentimes reflects an entirely different story than what is going on in their head. Their team came out on top, but they focus on only the worst parts of their game. Perfection. It can cripple careers…

Sure, it stings for a brief moment. It stung me. I came in expecting to have something that the whole membership would be in total support of. And I’m sure they are. I mean, I took a shot and stepped up to represent what I’ve been doing for the past two years, specifically with the music industry. I was met with nothing but respect from everyone. I was shaking hands and being congratulated by living legends in the industry (some of which asked for a signed copy of my book, an ordeal in which I’m still fan-boying over…).

This year’s Alberta Music AGM was a huge success. Both for me, but also for our music community. I delivered the best speech of my life, met a dozen incredible people that foster a relentless spirit of growth and development – individuals that give so much back to our music community in Alberta – and I had my voice heard on a platform that spans our whole membership. For me, my message is loud and clear. I’m the health coach of the business. If our industry didn’t know who I was before, they know who I am now and what my vision is within the scene. And that in and of itself got people talking and thinking all things health and wellness.

And the membership came out winners. We have a united front of directors orchestrating a community of growth and opportunity. As for me, I’m taking this as a sign that my time is best spent on helping the musicians get well, stay well and provide direction to individuals interested in what I do.

Congratulations to all of the newly appointed directors, I’m excited to see what 2017 has in store for our membership. I’m excited to be a part of it in any way I can. It was an honour to see my name alongside the other nominees. They’re truly remarkable leaders and Alberta Music is going to thrive under their guidance.

While the game may reflect a certain score, it’s up to you to choose how to lose. The numbers are purely a reflection of the outcome. It’s your attitude towards that outcome that I call the art of losing.

Thanks for reading. ‘Til next time, stay sweet!

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Photo by Warren Wong on Unsplash

When they ask me tomorrow why I no longer drink – I’ll have this much to say…

“It’s not worth the heartbreak. It’s not worth the loss. I would rather put my energy into things in life that give me fulfillment.”

You see, I lost a friend. And before you send a search party, don’t bother. He can’t even find himself…

I stopped at three. But I have no idea how many he was in before that flight came in. I’m not blaming alcohol for bending reality, I mean, sure, it does that. I’m more intrigued by our ability as humans to default back into that mindset that allows us to give up control of our decision making ability, even for a second. And tonight, in that brief moment of free fall, I watched a friend, a brother and a good man lose himself.

In some ways I wonder if it’d be easier to actually lose these people. I can’t help but feel that this loss stings even more just because I know he’s still around in body, just different from the man he was to me. The man I used to know. I knew we were in trouble when the drinks started disappearing and the antics and sheer volume started going up. Everything escalated. All over what? A petty conversation? I was part of the problem.

The liquid courage did it’s job, wedging ideals between friends with opposing views, pitting them against one another in the most insignificant way you can imagine. Allies cast as alley cats, out for a street fight.

After that first sip you really are playing roulette and for me, the sickness I feel, the hurt, the emptiness – none of that is worth the “good times with the boys”.

We parted ways and from twenty feet back I shielded myself for five more agonizing minutes of callous taunts, questioned integrity, courage and manliness. All from the lips of a “friend” mere hours ago…

So, when they ask me tomorrow why I no longer drink – I’ll have this much to say.

“Well, the more I listen to the words of those who do, the more I struggle to hear the message. The actions are simply deafening.

Thank you for reading this.

If you have a friend that you’re concerned about with addiction – drugs, alcohol, exercise, food, anything…. please reach out to your local medical professionals. There’s hotline that can talk you through how to approach the situation and help those that are struggling. Seek out help and be a friend. In my particular story, alcohol was the accelerator, but it can be anything. If you suspect someone in your life has a problem, seek professional help.

Patiently Imperfect

Folding towels.

Far from glorious,

Or even intellectually stimulating.

Sheer ownership of such a mundane, seemingly meaningless task

Is case in point,

The epitome of professionalism.

The discipline to overcome the monotony,

The chaos of boredom,

Drives mediocrity back to its breeding grounds of “comfortable”.

The sequence of practice.

The value of repetition.

Each imperfect fold is another jump shot, Another lap.

Another strike.

Another swing to the fences,

That champions the winning mindset and the spirit within those who do.

My head’s not like my bed

Empty for a while

No it’s filled up with wanderlust,

Made a trip to the northern Isles

Hearts will break, when you give a shake

To the madness that it is

Some just stay a long for the ride

Gettin’ cut’s just part of the biz

It starts with the letters.

I have been doing a program known as Procabulary, and at the very least I would strongly encourage you to go check it out www.procabulary.org

My relationship with myself has grown exponentially since starting the program and I can now attribute a much more decisive, accountable self with much stronger communication skills to the core language upgrade.

Something I’d like to pass along for this week’s Sunday Morning Coffee is how our words affect our time management situations. If you’re habitually late, this one’s for you.

 

Consider this.

When you are making plans with friends, talking to your employer about your shift or simply just planning on being somewhere at a certain time, how do you communicate it?

Do you say something to the effect of “I should be there around 5-5:30”?

Or do you say I will be there by 5:30.

It’s saying the same thing essentially, but the message in your head is very different.

 

In a nutshell, what I’m saying is give yourself the best opportunity to remain accountable to yourself and others around you. Make concrete language known as “solid talk” a habitual part of your language. Make wishy-washy or “soft talk” language a thing of the past.

 

Watch what happens to your punctuality.

Thanks for reading.