I could be long boarding across Canada, cross country skiing the Alpine, rock climbing glaciers. Whatever. I chose skating because it is fun, it’s a super awesome new challenge and am so passionate. The blades are the mode of transport of the whole thing. It could have been any of the above. Those are just the mediums to get the point across.
This is for you! I am doing this all for you! To push beyond your greatest fears…. That’s not just athletic achievements. It’s about not holding grudges from the past (no matter how dark it is). It’s about moving on, wanting to be something or someone more than you are right now!
These whole past 72 hours of a nightmare have seen me up and down quite a bit, but I am okay. I have always been an open book, and I am okay.
To Christy: I’m not sure for how long I was being “tested”, but I can tell you if half of the effort from these tests was put into yourself, the relationship wouldn’t be in shambles and it’d then be more valuable to put the remaining half effort into the fail(ing/ed) marriage.
Of course my pursuit of passion was directly geared towards the one person that up until Friday night had me convinced that she was my biggest fan. My best friend. My love. How else could I have done it? You immediately put up a wall when we tried talking about hopes, dreams and aspirations… All of that. Maybe if you saw me inspire someone else to be able to push beyond their deepest fear you would believe that you could too?
Then I quite literally watched everything I had worked together for in the past 5 years, get up, turn her back on reality, open her door, close ours and walk away. No discussion. All planned. I was mid sentence “could we talk about things..?” And anxiety, shock, bewilderment- you name it. I’ve never felt it before and will never allow myself to be put in a situation to feel it again. I never wish anyone, friend or foe to feel that.
The blades are still my vehicle. At the molecular level I am number one, and it is still my dream to inspire someone past their own insecurities and greatest fears. You need to have a purpose in life, a dream or aspiration. Something worth fighting for. I am sorry we were not that for you, but whatever it is, maybe walking away from us was the first step in your healing. It just really hurts to be treated like that, but for the sake of your wellness